For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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