my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
porn star boner night. come get it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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