apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
