that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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