Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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