He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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