that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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