Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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