take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
