My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
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We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother