You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm