At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!