Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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