So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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