i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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