Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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