Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
