we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
