get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
