Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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