I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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