his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
