oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
