Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's how pantless uber rides happen
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
