Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
