drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
