the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We are two peas in an std pod
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
