i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do herpes really smell.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
