i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
