Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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