That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
