super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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