Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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