hotel room ftw
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
