I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do herpes really smell.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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