I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
