Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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