32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
