so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize