Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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