are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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