Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
