you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
