If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
