i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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