i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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