Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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