i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was like eating out sand paper
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
