Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
