nut hugger
look no pants
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
