We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
