He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We were destined to go to rehab together
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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