I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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