mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
