You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Found your dick twin last night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
