I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
vagina is talking i cant
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
