I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize