Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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