Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
