I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
