A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
