I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
